I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
