there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i've created a new STD.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize