I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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