You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize