apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
