i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize