I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
