Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
