I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
