it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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