Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
