vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
