i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
