??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
