so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
