apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
