Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I believe in your delicious
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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