So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
