Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Success! We fucked roommates!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
