So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
