I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
youre lurking in front of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
