Only a mothe r could love this liver
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
