We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
