two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
