Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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