Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
