In the future we'll all be gay
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
