My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize