What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
