Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So vagazzling was a success
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
