When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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