It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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