omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
