i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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