So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
