how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
