Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
