ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
