yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
