dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
