I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
