Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
