she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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