I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
