guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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