i just google imaged poop.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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