How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Mom said you looked used
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
