Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
