What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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