i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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