ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
