SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
