I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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