Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
