your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
