come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize