every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
