If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Houston, we have a squirter
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
