can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
