Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
