Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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