Duck Duck Cougar?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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