Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
